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I am preparing to move to a new community in another town.  In order to provide a comfortable, clutter-free environment in our new, smaller home, we must give up many things – furniture, art, books, photos, dishes, other keepsakes and mementos – years of accumulation.

Most opportunities in life require letting go.  Pursuing opportunities and dreams by necessity requires letting go of the past.  Through various readings and conversations with friends, I’ve come to realize the many ways people let go:

  • Letting go of worry for improved emotional and physical health
  • Letting go of past hurts and betrayals for greater lightness and freedom of spirit in the present
  • Letting go of fear of judgement or a need for validation to fulfill your wildest dream
  • Letting go of the financial security of a steady job to pursue writing, start a business or care for a grandchild – to have the lifestyle you want
  • Letting go of home and a sense of community to travel the world and fulfill a yearning for adventure

Success and joy in life, whether personal or organizational, requires the hard choice of letting go and moving on.  In what ways do you or your company need to let go in order to move successfully forward into the future?

Community involvement. Empowerment. Making a difference. These words and phrases have become driving buzzwords in today’s marketplace.

As awareness about local and global social issues continues to grow, many consumers are choosing to do business with organizations that align with their personal values and make an impact in the broader community.  This shift in expectations offers an opportunity for businesses to define the impact they desire to make through their organization, employees, customers, and other stakeholders.

Within the workforce, it has been our observation that employees, particularly Millennials, want to work for organizations where they see a direct correlation between their day-to-day work and “making a difference.”

Whether it’s philanthropy, volunteering in the community, or recycling, an increasing number of consumers and employees support businesses and organizations that stand up for the local and global issues that are important to them.

This trending change is a great opportunity for smaller organizations to assess how they can make a greater impact.  To begin:

1) Look at your core business
2) Review your vision, mission, and values
3) Survey and talk to employees
4) Cultivate those employees who are interested in giving back and who are natural leaders
5) Develop priorities and guidelines, but leave room to be flexible

As you consider your organization, in what ways can you get involved in the local and global community to make the world a better place?

I don’t like feeling vulnerable or making mistakes. Possible failure makes me anxious. Yet I have noticed how resistance to vulnerability hinders creativity and hampers building relationships.

Brene Brown, who has authored numerous books on vulnerability and imperfection, defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.”

On a recent trip to Italy, I took a small step toward vulnerability. Armed with a CD and a “Duolingo” app, I memorized some basic Italian words and phrases.

It’s one thing to practice a language in my car or living room. It’s quite another to practice with native speakers. I don’t want to make mistakes, to appear awkward or silly.

But I decided to risk the mistakes I would undoubtedly make.

What a surprise!

In response to my admission, “Parlo solo un po d’italiano,” (I speak only a little Italian), aided by showing my thumb and forefinger a half inch apart, I was rewarded for my meager attempts.

Several times a person who had confessed to not speaking English, would then smile and, using the same gesture, admit that he or she spoke “solo un po d’inglese,” (only a little English). It was an acknowledgement of mutual vulnerability. Neither of us was very good at what we were attempting. It didn’t matter! Our shared experience in vulnerability forged a commonality between us.

My attempt to speak Italian was a tiny step toward my goal for the coming year—to take more risks in building relationships, to be open and accepting of my deficiencies, and to seek (in Brown’s words) more “laughter, song and dance” with less anxiety about mistakes.

In what ways can you put your vulnerability to work for you in 2016?

Author and Professor David W. Augsburger says, “Being heard is so close to being loved, that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

Recently I had a difficult conversation with another person. I wanted to listen, to care and to respond in ways that were helpful to both of us. Yet, as I experienced some of my beliefs and values being challenged and judged, I could feel my annoyance mounting. When the conversation ended I was frustrated. I didn’t feel heard. Nor did I listen well.

I had the opposite experience when I told a friend about these conversations. He listened well. I felt heard. I left the conversation feeling affirmed, valued and inspired.

In Chapter 3 of Good Leaders Ask Great Questions, John Maxwell identifies three kinds of listening:

  • Internal listening – this is the lowest level of listening. It is focused entirely on ourselves. We hear information from others, but we only consider it in terms of how we are affected by what the other person says.
  • Focused listening – our focus changes from ourselves to the person speaking. We hear not only their words, but also their emotions, facial expression, posture and so on.
  • Global listening is the highest form of listening. It goes beyond the speaker and the listener. It takes into account action, inaction and interaction of the people involved and also the environment in which the conversation is being conducted.

Good leaders practice global listening. They are not afraid of silence. They pay attention to who talks more and who talks less. They notice the impact on others of what is being said and done. They then adjust their communication and behaviors accordingly.

What kind of listener are you?

October 20, 2014

The Essential Perspectives of Leaders by Lynette Meck

Every year my husband and I vacation in South Carolina, and I am always struck by the views we enjoy. There are two distinct views….the one from above and the one from below.

From above, on my fourth floor balcony, I see tall, green sea pines and massive live oaks covered with Spanish moss. Above the trees, a bright blue Carolina sky.   Looking down I see the progression of the bike path.   In the distance where the sand meets the ocean, the sun is rising.  No storm clouds on the horizon today!

From below, strolling on the ground, new things are visible: Purple beauty berry bushes lining the bike path; snowy white egrets standing on the banks of a pond, teaching their young to fly.

Three alligators in the water quietly observe the egrets.  The adult egrets stand motionless, knowing the alligators are there.  They are alert to possible danger, yet focused on the task at hand.  The young egrets lift their small wings, fly low ten feet out over the water and then flutter back again under the watchful eyes of the adults.  Again and again the young egrets repeat this little exercise.

Leaders pay attention to the view from the balcony.  They take note of things not visible on the ground. Leaders also spend time on the ground, being present, modeling behavior, “getting their hands dirty.”  From both places leaders stay focused and alert to the opportunities, challenges, dangers and possible threats in front of them.  Successful leaders live in both places.

What do you see from the balcony of your company?  What do you see on the ground?

 

March 20, 2014

What’s on Your List by Lynette Meck

Several years ago at this time of the year I had just returned from a three day retreat in the beautiful Berkshire Mountains in western Massachusetts.

I needed this retreat away from work and other commitments.  The “to do” lists and “shoulds” were overtaking me.

Lists are good.  They keep us focused and organized.

A little “should” is good.

However, too much of either is overwhelming:  I should be able to work 10 hours a day at my job, have a relaxing meal with my spouse and children, keep evening appointments, do laundry, fold it and put it away.  I should read books relevant to my profession as well as books just for fun.  I should continue my education or pursue another degree.  I should get 8 hours of sleep every night. I should practice my violin.  I should walk 10,000 steps!

So I had gone to the Berkshires for quiet space. I read. I wrote.  I walked in the surrounding hills.  When I returned, I felt refreshed, energized and ready to re-engage.

In our roles as leaders, managers or coaches, we need to find ways to refresh in the midst of a lot of activity.

Susan Scott says in Fierce Conversations, “Just as rests and pauses in music lend beauty to the words and rhythm, so do pauses in our lives and in conversation lend credibility and authenticity to our work and other activity.”

When I returned from the Berkshires, I made a list of ways to stay fresh:

  1. Do not end a year with unused vacation time.
  2. Take a weekend, or a day, if longer vacations aren’t possible.
  3. Leave your desk in the midst of particularly stressful times. Go outside; it’s amazing how freeing it can be to look at the sky.
  4. Examine your “to do” list.   Is every item listed essential?  If so, can any be shared within the family or delegated within the organization?
  5. Make a “Stop Doing” list.

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, says “stop doing” lists are more important than “to do” lists.

The “stop doing” concept made me look in a new way at many of my personal choices.

More than that, it affected the work of an entire department I supervised.   The staff was feeling overworked and overwhelmed.  When asked to make a list of tasks or processes that could be added to a “stop doing” list, they eagerly engaged, developing a list of 8-10 items for consideration.   Old processes that had little value were discontinued.  Others were streamlined.  The “stop doing” process made a significant difference in their work and ability to manage it.  It also created a sense of more control over their work.

Collins says, “Most of us….have ever-expanding “to do” lists, trying to build momentum by doing, doing, doing—and doing more.  And it rarely works.  Those who built the good to great companies, however, made as much use of “stop doing” lists as “to do” lists.”

What’s on your list?

 

September 20, 2013

Unclogging the Drain by Lynette Meck

I have a bathroom sink.  Not too long ago it clogged.  I tried chemicals.  This did not help.  Unfortunate, because this represented the sum total of what I know to do with a clogged drain.  I’m just not mechanically inclined.

I waited.  Perhaps it would fix itself?  Procrastination didn’t work either.  I knew there had to be an intermediate step between Drano and calling the plumber.  I got frustrated.

So I stuck my head underneath the sink.  I saw a pipe that could be unscrewed in two places.  Without tools!   So I unscrewed it.  What I saw in the pipe was not pretty.  I cleaned out the pipe and screwed it back together, maneuvering the ends so everything matched up.

Turning on the water, I smiled as it gushed down the drain.

I had no idea I could do this.  This process, which took barely 30 minutes of my time, gave me an immense sense of satisfaction.  The satisfaction went far beyond the unclogged drain.  I had learned something new.  I had accomplished something that, until then, I was certain I could not do.

I proudly told my husband what I’d done and how I’d done it.  “One more stereotype down the drain!”

Why the perception that I was incapable of something that turned out to be so simple?

Upon examination, there were lots of reasons.

I grew up thinking that this is work that plumbers do.  Or, if not a plumber, at least a man.  I had never known a female plumber.

High school career clubs for girls emphasized becoming nurses, teachers, homemakers and bookkeepers.  These were the messages I received through much of my early life — messages I absorbed without realizing it.  The models I was exposed to and the experiences of others framed what I came to consider possible.

How often do we allow unexamined images like these to define us or pigeon-hole others with whom we interact?  How do they define the way we lead and supervise others?  Oh that’s just how Joe is. Or, Jane has always worked in the shipping department.  She is good with her hands.  She doesn’t think very fast.

A man was asked if he could play the violin.  “I don’t know,” he replied.  “I never tried.”  Until we try, and give others an opportunity to try, we don’t know what we, or Joe, or Jane, are capable of doing.

As a leader, be a model for others as you explore and develop your own skills and capabilities.  Identify one thing you would like to do, but never believed you could.

Ask your colleagues and those you supervise what they think they do well and in what areas they’d like to grow.  Invite them to talk about their dreams and perceived obstacles to realizing them.  Encourage them to think differently about things they believe they cannot do, or haven’t tried.

Leaders, the people they lead, and ultimately their companies will grow together as they send old stereotypes and perceived limitations down the drain.