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I have a good friend who shares the adage “I’ve got your back” and lives it out as he helps others in their quest to be successful in their role. His message is always conveyed in a manner that encourages accountability, but also aids in the release of the pain of failure, the disappointment of letting others down, and the emotional spiral that people experience as they are embarrassed by their poor results.

Accountability is a great tool to encourage and support individuals and teams as they work towards goals and objectives. It enables the freedom to act within appropriate boundaries while supporting individuals as they use their gifts and skillsets for the betterment of the group. However, if not handled well, accountability can also damage or destroy initiative and growth.

In his book, The Power of the Other, Dr. Henry Cloud shares that “one of the problems we see most often is that accountability conversations are held in negative emotional climates, with toxic outbursts and shaming. We hear “How could you have done that?” and “How could you let that happen?” These are really statements, not questions. In effect, we are saying, “You’re an idiot!”

Few things in our world of work create unresolvable situations, especially if we take the time to set clear boundaries, accountabilities and expectations. Together, we can work through almost anything. Great leaders take the time to be sure that their teams and team members understand the details of these three aspects.

We have all experienced the pain of “failure” made worse by the embarrassment and group exposure it brought upon us. It is at those moments that we desperately need to hear people sincerely say, “I’ve got your back.” It is even more powerful when spoken by the leader.

How about you? Are you lying in wait to pounce on an error? Or, are you watching for your opportunity to be the leader who says, “I’ve got your back”?

Your team knows the answer. It is never too late to let them know that you have their back.

Have you ever stopped to reflect on the “good ole’ days” where:

  • The only thing you could do in your car was listen to the radio, mentally plan, converse with a passenger, or take in the scenery?
  • Returning to the office often meant a pile of pink message slips awaiting your response and more telephone “tag”?
  • An “immediate” response might require communication via fax?
  • Inter-company communication relied on courier schedules?

I know I am dating myself but many of you remember those times, or have heard about them.

Today, almost anything can be done “immediately” with proper technology, clear communication, and a mutual focus on the goal. However, we are also living in a world that now creates a work environment, and, at times, a home environment that leaves little time for setting appropriate priorities. We are constantly available (or expected to be available) and information is created (or expected to be created) and sent in a moment’s notice around the world. Now the question we ask is… what do we do first?!?

An article in the Harvard Business Review indicated that the majority of executives report having too many “conflicting” priorities and wrestle with the extreme challenge of allocating resources as they chase the ever-elusive GROWTH. Yes, with growth as the driver and endless priorities constantly clamoring for attention, what do we do next?

  • Work with your team to focus on identifying a few key priorities
  • Agree upon those priorities and set reasonable goals to monitor and measure performance
  • Put the right people in the right position to maximize their strengths
  • Continue to use technology to communicate, measure, listen, and communicate some more
  • Stop chasing growth with a never ending bag of initiatives that steal the limited resources of the company and end up causing confusion and distraction for the team

The same Harvard Business Review article also noted that executives who focused on a set of 1-3 priorities achieved above-average revenue growth by aligning investment, effort and attention.

Go ahead, ask your team, “What are we chasing?” Then, harness their talent towards a more focused set of limited priorities… and above-average revenue growth.

So, owner, executive, manager, family member… “What are you chasing?”

As a leader you are called to listen, share, guide, motivate and challenge – all for drawing the best team performance for your clients and company.

Adam Grant, in his book, “Give and Take,” describes two contrasting leadership styles. “Takers like to get more than they give, and they put their own interests ahead of others’ needs,” he says. “As they gain power, they pay less attention to how they’re perceived by those below them and believe they are entitled to pursue self-serving goals.” Takers, he adds, are more concerned with winning, pleasure, power and wealth.

Givers, on the other hand, focus more on helpfulness, responsibility, and compassion. “It takes time for givers to build goodwill and trust, but eventually they establish reputations and relationships that enhance success,” he says, explaining that giver qualities foster strong performances for the benefit of clients, the company, and the team.

Grant warns against appearing as a giver while actually leading as a taker. I remember a leader who attempted to emulate giver qualities in public, but was known as a taker. He would often remark to employees: “Great job! Excellent idea! Keep doing what you’ve been doing, but…” Those who knew him well advised that whatever this leader said after the word “but” was what he expected, regardless of the praise he communicated. And those “buts” were often self-serving.

What did the team soon realize about this leader? His focus was not fully on the health and success of the company. Rather, it was colored to build up his own career and individual wealth.

Do you say what you mean and mean what you say? Or, does your leadership, observed by others, indicate taker qualities such as shallow praise and too many “buts”?

Take a close look at your leadership style and consider how you can be more of a giver. The benefits are significant for everyone.

I recently attended the funeral of a close relative where the pastor asked, “Are you building your resume or your eulogy?” As I reflected on those thoughts, my mind turned to the leadership journey we all are traveling as we define the “dash” on our tombstone—the time between birth and death. A resume is all about “me” while a eulogy, I believe, is what my life has meant to others.

Many of us define our lives and success by our careers, titles, board positions, influential people we have served beside, honors bestowed, etc. But what really matters is what people will say as they eulogize our lives. What we did, how we did it will be defined, measured, and ultimately valued—or not—by those who remain behind.

This does not need to be a sad, depressing message. In reality, it is meant to be a joyous homecoming made even more meaningful as people eulogize the special persons we were and how we (hopefully) touched many lives for good, NOT for self.

Bob Buford in his book, “Halftime,” states that as he headed into the second half of his life, he stopped setting goals and started to make commitments. He said: “I am committed to practice ‘altruistic egoism.’ Altruistic egoism means gaining personal satisfaction by helping others. It counts as greatest gain the goodwill of one’s neighbors.”

Are you leading in a way that is building your eulogy—serving others, building the goodwill of your team and “neighbors”—or are you still focused on building your resume and serving yourself? The choice is yours.

I will be eternally grateful to a fine father-in-law, John K. Miller—a man who lived his “dash” building a eulogy, not focusing on a resume.

Till we meet again, Dad, thank you for this most beautiful testimony!

As leaders, or those being led, you know how it feels when a topic comes up for discussion a second or third time. If the topic is near and dear to you, you are grateful for the persistence. However, if you are tired of what feels like unproductive rehashing, you are likely thinking, “Here we go again.”

What makes the difference? Your perspective.

What do you desire regardless of your perspective? Cooperation and support from all parties.

Unfortunately, issues like this can sap the passion and teamwork from individuals and their organizations. Yet, many times careful attention to the issues are necessary to effect progress. The key to turning this potential drain of energy into high-impact forward momentum is communication.

Providing the right meeting environment and a proper structure for discussion enables all stakeholders to have the opportunity to share their views and the supporting facts. Ensuring that everyone’s comments are solicited and properly vetted minimizes the risk of the same topic being visited again and again. Everyone can begin to move forward rather than languishing in the disappointment of a perceived missed opportunity or the frustration of an unrelenting topic.

Want to stop the “here we go again” carousel within your relationships? Create a setting for healthy conversation and encourage input from everyone. You may be surprised by the fresh ideas your meetings begin to percolate as multiple views are vetted and a course of direction is set by a happier, more appreciative team.

October 6, 2014

Loves Me, Loves Me Not, by Dave Thompson

I still remember elementary school and the field daisy I gave to a classmate as a sign of friendship. She promptly began pulling the petals off with the well-known chant, “He loves me; he loves me not.” Over and over she continued until to my great disappointment, she ended with, “He loves me not.”

Today, many leaders create the same level of disappointment for their team, not by tugging on a daisy, but by frequently pulling apart team member efforts, results and spirit. If you want to hamper the growth and success of your company, continue with the negative, soul-sapping, controlling style that you may think makes the company strong but which conveys the impression “He loves me not.”

An alternative, as Patrick Lencioni notes in his book The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive, involves maintaining a cohesive leadership team. Develop a plan with the team, communicate a positive message, review the objectives and results on a frequent basis, and make thoughtful course corrections in a respectful and appreciative manner. Then step out of their way as you admire — and thus reward — their performance.

You will be glad you engaged your team in a positive manner, as will the team, and not only will the results be more satisfying, but the daisies will remain intact making a beautiful arrangement for all to enjoy. You’ll ensure a working environment for all to succeed. Now, let’s go find a flower vase to display those daisies!

March 5, 2014

Think Slow, Act Fast by Dave Thompson

Have you ever made a decision in the heat of the moment, believing it was critical to show your ability to be decisive or keep things moving? I have, and my decision left much to be desired. When the intended result did not transpire, it called for a course of correction that ended in a cost of time and energy from others.

Recently, a friend shared a phrase that resonated with him and with me… Think Slow, Act Fast.

Initially, the concept seems contradictory as you may wonder how a person can act fast if they are slow to think. Upon further reflection, though, it may be excellent advice to anyone, particularly to leaders. A leader actually may be serving their team better by allowing for thinking and analysis before expecting a definitive plan of action. This is time not only for their team to “think slow,” but also for themselves.

In his book, The Advantage,Lencioni states, “Leaders cannot try to eliminate or reduce time spent in meetings by combining them or cutting them short. When people leave meetings without active commitment around a decision they then go back to their offices and do as little as possible to support that idea.”

The benefit of effectively managing this “think slow” process is most evident during implementation as the energy and commitment of the team becomes fully aligned. Everyone is engaged and focused on the plan due to the fact that it was well-thought out and involved other decision-making participants. The result is an action plan driven by team buy-in, excellent processes, and measureable goals enabling all employees to “act fast.”

What stands in the way of actually implementing this new way of action? Although the question is best answered individually, some reasons (or, should we say, excuses) come to mind:

  • We do not have the time to wait on exhausting all of the potential solutions
  • My leadership capabilities will be called into question if I do not have an immediate answer
  • The team’s view is not as over-arching as my view which will limit the value of their input
  • The issue we are trying to resolve will languish in a committee resulting in no action and lost opportunity or wasted time and resources
  • I may be forced toward a direction I am not comfortable leading, or defending

The excuses are endless but the fact remains… knowledge and insight gained by engaging others in the “thinking slow” process will most often result in the ability to “act fast” and achieve superior results.

Ask yourself, is it time to consider the potential benefits of a “Think Slow, Act Fast” culture?

September 5, 2013

Your Leadership is Showing by David Thompson

One of my earliest jobs was with a large supermarket chain, where I spread my hours among three locations. While the products, customers and employees were similar at each location, the leadership style of the store managers was very different. Even as a college student working part time, I could see the different impact two of the managers had.

At the first store, it was openly discussed to watch your back while working for “George,” and no matter what, be sure your actions do not bring negative attention upon him in the eyes of regional leadership. He “ruled with an iron fist.” No error seemed to go unnoticed and was often publicly addressed. Few, if any, words of appreciation were uttered and the work atmosphere left a lot to be desired. His dictatorial style did not endear him to staff nor serve to develop future store managers.

At the second store, “Ron,” provided a more collegial environment, combining a healthy dose of personal interaction, camaraderie, and task clarity. Success was shared, and you always knew support and encouragement were a “few feet” away. Problems were handled quietly. Impressively, team members were frequently promoted to management positions at other stores.

Ron’s leadership focused on the team and created a healthy environment for working, learning and growing. Whether full or part time, employees were all encouraged to be active participants at this successful supermarket. They were developed to be future leaders by the positive example exhibited by this store manager.

In fact, Ron’s leadership showed through in others.

What about you? How often have you made a conscious decision to step back and take a second look at your leadership style? Are you approachable? Do you communicate in a manner that draws others into the conversation and leaves them feeling valued, appreciated and understood?

Whether you like it or not, the evidence of your leadership is not only identified by profits or your personal actions as a leader, but many times is defined by the actions of your team.

Think about that for a moment… if we are truly serving effectively as leaders, the fruits of our efforts can be measured not only by what we accomplish but also by the accomplishments of our team. Some leaders take credit for success and point fingers when things are not going as well. True leaders find ways to shine the spotlight of success on their team while shouldering the disappointments that are sure to come from time to time.

Right now, take a moment to mentally look around your company, or your home. What do you see… successful, vibrant, upbeat, productive people sharing in the joy of the environment that YOU are leading? If not, take a look at your leadership style and seek ways to forge it into the qualities needed to enhance the lives of others. I guarantee you it will enhance your business, your family and your life.

Look around…. your leadership is showing…..through the lives of others.