April 6, 2013

Living Through Transitions by Dennis Clemmer

Transitions have been on my mind a lot recently, given several family events. Both of my daughters are pregnant, expecting to deliver daughters of their own this summer, two weeks apart. For Valerie and Gordon, this is their second child. Evan, our grandson, will turn three shortly after his sister is born. Tasha and Travis, for whom this is their first, have lived fairly carefree lives, enjoying outdoor activities such as rock climbing, snowboarding, hiking and traveling.

Inviting a new member into the home will require adjustments for both families. Evan, who has had the full attention of his parents, will now need to share that time with his little sister. Tasha and Travis will have to consider the well being of a little one before heading off to their adventures. We grandparents could be facing some adjustments of our own.

The other recent event in my family, bringing a less than happy reaction, was my brother’s unexpected loss of a job when his company downsized (shared with his permission). After 23 years of steady employment he now needs to look for work.

The past 12 plus years of working with companies going through transitions has offered me the opportunity to witness the challenges, opportunities and benefits of such changes. It has also offered me the opportunity to witness a wide variety of responses. For some it has been an invigorating, energizing experience resulting in a renewed sense of purpose. For others it has been an opportunity to explore unused skills. For still others it has been a gut wrenching time, leading to questions about self worth and vocational direction.

Transitions are emotional events. They force us to reach deep inside ourselves, and our reactions sometimes surprise us. What we envision as joyful transitions sometimes bring unexpected challenges. Changes we see as difficult sometimes bring pleasant benefits.

I first learned of my brother’s loss of employment through an email, but I really couldn’t determine how the news was affecting him. When I called him I was encouraged to hear him say that, while all of this had taken him by surprise, he was going to approach it as a chance to make a fresh start. He likened it to my attitude 13 years ago when I made a career change. Of course his transition was the greater challenge since it was forced upon him while mine was chosen.

So, what determines one’s ability to manage transitions gracefully? The following are attributes I have observed in others who have adjusted well:

• Flexibility
• Resilience
• Patience
• Open mindedness
• Persistence

Developing these attributes will help prepare all of us for expected or unexpected transitions. What are you doing to foster these in your life?